The Balanced News

Some feel safe in chaos
you make war of yourselves

Some feel safe in numbers
you find companion ships.

Some feel security alone
Guarded their hoping hearts

acceptance
by james spada

you went away
and know i pray

may you bumble
never stumble

hope you are glad
and not ever sad

A flying bee
know you are free

bad religion- 21st century digital boy

Guarded Media Content
written by james spada

I know you are,
not, the most beautiful

I know you are,
not, the most Composed

I know you are,
not, the most intelligent

I know you are,
not, my morality dream.

I know, not, what
to do
with the way I feel

I look at options
why buy, why sell
hold out, hedge

i rationalize,
i patientize,
my feelings
safe, secure
risk adversion
comfort, warm
in a free moment
i start over
-loop-
i rationalize,
i patientize,
my feelings
safe, secure
risk adversion
comfort, warm

no need to snuggle
or struggle

I am fucking tough
and
I have my Rich Media Content

A poem a day,
keeps pain away.

My chest loses tension
my breath deepens
I relax, smile and sit back
song changes i listen
Another Traveling Song

I’m bloody tough
and
I got my Rich Media Content.

Insanity: doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.  -Albert Einstein

I know a smart man
by james spada

I know a guy
he is a nurse
hates being a nurse
is studing to be
a master nurse?

I know a lady
she likes the nurse
calls him sometimes
only gets one in many
calls returned?

I know a woman
with much apathy
sits in class
sharpie in hand
penning nails black?

I know a smart man
he just sits back, smiles.
then keeps on keeping on…

A good conscious is a continual Christmas.
-ben franklin.

He who is great makes the sound of the wind sweeter by his own loving.
-kahlil gibran

Wonderfalls quote -
Jaye: But look at him. He’s smitten. Smitten and eager are bad. You know what you get with smitten and eager? Romance. Relentless, treacly, manufactured romance. And that kinda romance never ends well.

Four of Cups

written by james spada

three phone calls

per day

maybe one

conversation

twenty min in new york

four hours in tampa

three hours in Houston

eleven min in ParkCity(utah)

fourty five min in Montana

without a phone

only strangers

calm

contemplation

cold

production

icy

efficiency

snow

meditation

This poem is inspired by a conversation i had this week regarding suicide.  When i shared my own experiences, a woman told me that she felt like i was in her head, saying exactly how she felt.  Before i start lets make sure there is no confusion.  Suicide is a selfish act that should never be signed into law.
You are only pushing your pain onto others and we know thats just not polite.

Depression
written by James Spada

Alone

painful weight
If only a tear could
Find its way to the surface
As you continue to fall deeper
Deeper, Deeper, Deeper still

the solution is simple

the only way

Death
thoughts of
action, of suicide
become a real need
the only soothing feeling
is in the ecstacy of death

Only once you have pictured
the solution, can you begin to resolve

Focus comes back, you have real choices

Choices that need reflection upon,

how to do it? where to do it?

the painful weight

is the why

you feel humiliation, mostly despair
you are certain that you are worthless

The why is a question you dont need to ever question
it is exactly what brought you to this bridge that you wish to cross.

Next comes the HOW TO and WHERE TO
They become the only cards in your hand.

You can not play it here or there because who might find you
You can not play it this way or that way for fear of failure

Only once you have started to shuffle through these thoughts
are you ready, Ready for the question that is most important

It is the:  WHY NOT
that holds the true solution.

as you zoom out you visualize the pain being transfered
to those who can not handle the pain the way you can.

To friends, to family, to anyone who cares for you
To people who will feel guilt as they blame each other

The should have and wishes of would & could will take over
Their lifes will gain your depression, the feeling will magnify.

You realize the pain that you have,
you have because you are strong
because you can handle it.

Pain is a learning tool to help grow
It can be used to yeild appreciation

The fact is that God only gives you things you can handle

You must embrace each one of gods challenges

You must seek out your suicidal thoughts

AT THE SAME TIME
YOU MUST TAKE STRONG ACTION
AGAINST YOUR SUICIDAL MOVEMENTS.

I cant be your friend.
written by james spada

if i am your friend
Confusion sets in
and we lose choice time

Choice moment is gone
Choice word is gone too

Choice happenings do persist
without moment words

if i am your friend
Confusion sets in
and we lose place

placement finds hideout
now with hug and kiss

Intimacy gone
replaced by nod

i  have lots of friends
i want a lover

preferably one
with the intention

for longevity
overture of peace

where a dove may fly
and chooses to keep

idenity open
future expanding

I want a lover
that will embrace life

on choicest moment
choicest happening

toward a placement
of kiss hug and love

a place without need
only granted wishes.
It’s like the great john cougar said, i need a lover that wont drive me crazy.
Of course that is the easy part, the hard part is to not end up with a friend that wont drive you crazy when you are really looking for a lover that wont drive you crazy.

The end of a rein
the people pleaser
written by james spada

My soul got lost thought
trying remember…

now ready i am i
for the future light

My soul found sound thought.
And I remember
The people pleaser.

I Know a Woman
written by James Spada

I know a woman,
who is quite special.

All the men know her,
see her walk her way.

They look to capture,
she understands: No Way.

For in her lovely,
she is so complete.

The remedy for,
Might be: walk a way.

For no hope need be,
When love may stand still.

In the emptiness,
The heart able: will breathe.