The Balanced News

New York City - I’m going to be in the city 14th thru 20th of March.

Houston, TX - March 4th - Danny?
Orlando, FL - March 6th - Thresa?
New York NY - March 16th - Mugur?
Brooklyn, NY -  March 17th - Adam?
Chicago, IL -  March 23rd  - Nazeer?
Denver, CO - April 6th - Ryan or Val?

late night phone call from Nazeers ‘many several’ years ago.
“You are going where tonight?”- terrys dad
“we are going to drive to nebraska.” - Terry
= classic (the things we will do for music)

Saddle Creek sells good music.New Disc comes out march 6th.

Happy Valentines Day.

Alright most of you know that
Vic and Jenn have two kids, Katie and Drew

Well Danny and Jennifer are due in August
And Joe and Jenni are due in September.

The Kicker, joe and jenni are having twins.

Joe’s screwed.

Dont get me wrong i like Elliot Smith

But between the bars- is an opium den theme song.

Drink up, baby, stay up all night
The things you could do, you won’t but you might
The potential you’ll be that you’ll never see
The promises you’ll only make
Drink up with me now and forget all about the pressure of days
Do what i say and i’ll make you okay and drive them away
The images stuck in your head
People you’ve been before that you don’t want around anymore
That push and shove and won’t bend to your will
I’ll keep them still
Drink up, baby, look at the stars, i’ll kiss you again
Between the bars where i’m seeing you
There with your hands in the air waiting to finally be caught
Drink up one more time and i’ll make you mine
Keep you apart deep in my heart separate from the rest
Where i like you the best
And keep the things you forgot
The people you’ve been before that you don’t want around anymore
That push and shove and won’t bend to your will
I’ll keep them still

Just Stay in my Opium den with pipe in hand

I’ll make all your worries come true.

Last night i became incredibly jealous, and i cried for some time.
Cried for my lost love with Leslie, lost structure.
I began to question my beliefs and thoughts.
i have never been so angry with myself
My hands were covered in snot, I couldnt figure out direction.
I lost my high level of intuition and intelligence.
All my past and present choices seem to have no weight or bias.

knelling, my face to the floor, my hands cupped, over my torrent of snot, tears.
I just kept praying for some explanation, some reasoning, some righteousness

this went on for some time and nothing
i composed myself, I wrote a close friend miles away an email.
Its helped for the duration.

so i did what anyone would do and reached for a book
purposely avoiding the ones for such times.
it was quasi science garbage, i put it back in its place.

Then i blindly grabbed an anthology of sacred prose
opening it i got an 8th century excerpt from an instructional manual
to be whispered in ones ear the signs of death.
“now the sign of earth dissolving into water is present, water into fire,
fire into air, air into consciousness….”
this i dont entirely understand what it is about.
so i go on,
“…..at this moment in time you mind is by nature pure emptiness….this is Dharmata, the female buddha samantabhadri.  But this state of mind is not just blank empiness; it is unobstructed, sparkling, pure, and vibrant; this mind is the male buddha samantabhadra. These two - your mind whose nature is emptiness without any substance whatever, and your mind which is vibrant and luminous - are inseparable; this is the Dharmakaya of the buddha.  This mind of your is inseparable luminosity and emptiness in the form of a great mass of light; it has no birth or death, therefore it is the buddha or immortal light.  To recognize this is all that is necessary.  When you recognize this pure nature of your mind as the buddha, looking into your own mind is resting in the buddha mind.”
it helped.  I followed the directions, reading it out loud three to seven times, clearly and precisely.

First, it will remind him of what he has previously been shown by his guru,
second, he will recognize his own naked mind as the luminosity;
and third, having recognized himself, he will become inseparably united with the Dharmakaya and certainly attain liberation.

so of course its the from the Tibetan book of the dead.
out Huxley style.